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A Fable for the Living is a story about a widow that finds a way to deal with her grief through writing letters to her dead husband. This letter to my author-self will be used similarly in that I will use this to help myself connect to a part of me that has long been dormant.
Dear Petunia, I know it has been a while since we have interacted, besides the overwhelming moments here and there over the past decade, but I look forward to getting to know you again. I have been scared in the past to get to know you well, because what if I can’t live up to the expectations you have set for me? It is more comfortable to ignore you and pretend you aren’t there then it is to acknowledge you and let you free. Please go easy on me. It has been since Kathleen’s death almost a year ago since I wrote anything. Writing now is taking me back to that day – the day that my grandmother’s last childhood friend passed away – my last connection that knew her all throughout her life. For a long time, it felt like if I kept you at bay I would be comfortable, but the more I work and write the more I remember one of my favorite quotes “a ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” I am hesitant to step on this ship, but I know that if I am open to the process, I can sail free! One day, I hope we can live harmoniously together, but for now I think the passage is going to be tumultuous. I know the past couple of years have been rough but learning to let it out and write about it will be helpful, I promise. I want to start reading through my old journals to reconnect with you. As well as reading through old journals, I want to start journaling more again. The more writing that I have been doing, the more connected I feel to you already. Finally, I will believe in myself and ask for help when I need it. Sincerely yours, Lisa Claire
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For this class our professor asked us to create a digital portfolio. In order to create this post we were asked to read:
C is for contrast R is for repetition A is for alignment P is for proximity
Welcome to my first ever blog post! For my English Composition I class we are creating a digital portfolio. The following is The Proust Questionnaire, some of the questions required much thought, while others were easy enough to answer. While this is what I have know, I reserve the right to go back and change any or all answers as I change and grow throughout this course and my life. The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire. __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness? Grasping the idea of perfect happiness is not within my grasp with the state of the world today. __2.__What is your greatest fear? __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? First, I wouldn't say deplore, but the thing I most want to work on is not taking my frustration out on other people, especially my husband, when I'm cranky. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? Judging other people based on the color of their skin, sexual orientation, race, religion or lack thereof, etc. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? My mother - she is the kindest, bravest person I know. She can make friends with a stranger on the street. In the face of her diagnosis at 56 with FTD, a form of dementia, she is still living and loving life and enjoying everyday that she has with her family and friends. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? Going out to brunch with my brother every other weekend! __7.__What is your current state of mind? __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? __9.__On what occasion do you lie? __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? __11.__Which living person do you most despise? I am not at liberty to post that information at the moment, as if this person sees, it could cause a lot of problems for someone I love. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? Honesty __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Honesty __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Curse words! __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? __16.__When and where were you happiest? On the water with people that I love. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? Compassion in the face of frustration. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? Moving 1000 miles from home and finding myself. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A dolphin or a horse. __21.__Where would you most like to live? On the water with those I love most - my mother, brother, ciocia, husband, and mother-in-law. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? A ring that has been in my family 4 generations. It belonged to my paternal grandmother, then my grandfather gave it to my grandmother as an engagement ring, then it was passed to my mom, and recently my mom gave it to me. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? __24.__What is your favorite occupation? My favorite occupation so far in my life has been when I was a housekeeper at a small B&B in Ithaca, New York. I could listen to music or audio books and just clean! __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? __26.__What do you most value in your friends? Communication and honesty. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? My parents - for different reasons. My mother because she is brave and compassionate. She is still her kind, caring self even in the face of an early-onset dementia diagnosis. My father because he has grown so much as a person since I was born. We had our difficulties when I was younger, but being an adult now, I see how much he has progressed in the past 10 years and am extremely proud of him. __31.__What are your favorite names? Marcella, Claire, Otto, Charles __32.__What is it that you most dislike? __33.__What is your greatest regret? I try to live my life without regrets. Every decision I have ever made has led me to this point in my life and I LOVE where I am in my life right now. __34.__How would you like to die? __35.__What is your motto? That depends on the day... |
LISA CLAIRE WILEY
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