BLOG
From my Composing an Emotional Scene with Dialogue and Symbolism:
“I’m not happy anymore and I’m not really sure why. I think I need a fresh start,” I realize as I am saying the words. “I have to do it,” I say. “Move here to Nashville, I have a room opening in my house at the end of December. It’s yours if you want it,” Drew says immediately. I don’t hesitate, I don’t second guess myself. “That sounds perfect,” I say, feeling the weight in my stomach lift a little. Telling Myself a Different Story: A Memoir Counterfactual: ...“I’m not happy anymore and I’m not really sure why. I think I need a fresh start,” I realize as I am saying the words. “I have to do it,” I say. “I wish I hadn’t just filled the empty room in my house,” Drew said regretfully. “Me too, but I have to do something. I guess I’ll move back into my mom’s house with my brother for a bit to figure out my next move,” I ponder this and realize I really don’t want to move back into my mom’s house. I love my mom and brother, but need to stand on my own 2 feet. “Maybe you can move in with an old high school friend for now?” Drew suggests. I texted Kristi, my friend since 1st grade: “I have to break up with Matt and I think I’m moving home for a bit, any chance you’re looking for a roommate soon?” I hover over the send key for a minute before taking the plunge. Almost instantaneously she replies: “When are you moving?! I was just about to have to move back in with my parents!” Instead of continuing this conversation via text, I give Kristi a call. “I think I have to move home, but I just can’t live in my mom’s house again!” I proclaim. “I don’t have much savings, lets see what we can find within our budgets,” Kristi says smartly. "I can't believe I'm starting over again and haven't even finished college yet," I say. We hang up after agreeing to start the search for our home together. I can finally breathe again and look forward to making my future the best I can.
0 Comments
For class this week we were asked to read My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou) and Hills Like White Elephants and write a scene with dialogue and symbolism that connects to the themes of these readings. These stories expressed strong emotions and I feel that the scene that I’ve written is emotional. It certainly made me emotional while writing.
It was October 2014 and the weather was surprisingly warm. I was living in Queens and working at a Polish bakery owned by my boyfriend’s family in Brooklyn. I lucked out and found a parking spot close to work. Cars were passing, slowing down and craning their necks trying to see if I was coming or going. Horns were honking all around me. I was parked in a spot half a block from the bakery and watched the light changed from green to yellow to red. Sipping on my double latte from my favorite café up the street and feeling conflicted when I called one of my best friends, Drew. “I think I need to break up with Matt,” I said sadly. “Oh no, love. What’s wrong?” Drew asked. I think for a minute on how to explain what I was thinking and feeling. I put my latte down and felt a drop in my stomach. Matt and I have been friends since 2009 when we met in our freshman dorm. He was there for me through my grandmother dying, a bad breakup, and a few very drunken nights. How can I hurt one of my best friends? How can I stay in a relationship when I’m not happy? “I’m not happy anymore and I’m not really sure why. I think I need a fresh start,” I realize as I am saying the words. “I have to do it,” I say. “Move here to Nashville, I have a room opening in my house in the end of December. It’s yours if you want it,” Drew says immediately. I don’t hesitate, I don’t second guess myself. “That sounds perfect,” I say, feeling the weight in my stomach lift a little. I realize that I feel like I can breathe again for the first time in a long time. “Thank you, Drew. You’re always there for me when I need you. I’ll see you in a couple of months.” Knowing that I need to figure out how to break this to Matt, I go to the pool. Swimming helps me clear my mind and work through problems. I change into my swimsuit, stretch, put on my goggles, and dive in. Welcome back! For this blog post we were asked to create a scenario where we have the opportunity to talk to these 3 authors about the writing process. The three texts that we had to read are Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) -- introduction is not required reading, Against Vanity: In Praise of Revision (Mary Karr) , Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life | pp. 28 -34 | Short Assignments & Shitty First Drafts (Anne Lamott). I will use quotes from these reading to create the conversation and atmosphere.
Let me tell you a story about the day that changed my life as a writer. I was browsing the stacks at the Trinity College Old Library in Dublin, Ireland. I spent most of the day wondering past books older than your grandparents, past the Book of Kells. Eventually, after losing myself in the splendor I ended up in a small pub tucked away in a corridor right behind the library. Around a table, filled with empty beer mugs, are Don Murray, Mary Karr, and Anne Lamott. I head up to the bar and ask the bartender for 4 more of whatever they are drinking, muster up my courage, and head over to the table. “Mind if I join y’all for a round? I’m Petunia and I have an assignment for my English Composition I class due soon and could really use some advice!” At first, they looked unsure until I explained to them about our digital portfolio project that we would be working on all semester. They whispered amongst themselves and turned to me with a curious look and a wave as if to say go on… “What advice would you have for someone who is new to writing?” I ask tentatively. Mary is the first to speak, “(1) Writing is painful—it’s “fun” only for novices, the very young, and hacks; (2) other than a few instances of luck, good work only comes through revision; (3) the best revisers often have reading habits that stretch back before the current age, which lends them a sense of history and raises their standards for quality.” Don follows up with, “[the writer] uses language to reveal the truth to himself so that he can tell it to others. It is an exciting, eventful, evolving process.” “Wow you make it sound so intimidating and time consuming. How do stop from feeling overwhelmed with writing what needs to be written and with all of your other responsibilities in life?” Anne replies with something I will never forget, “I go back to trying to breathe, slowly and calmly, and I finally notice the one-inch picture frame that I put on my desk to remind me of short assignments.” I stop and think for a minute before asking, “what if I can’t get over the initial hump of writer’s block? What if you don’t know where to start or where you want to go?” Anne quickly said, “Very few writers really know what they are doing until they’ve done it…the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts. The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place.” Mary adds her two cents on this, “The idea is to get some scenes down. Let your mind roam down some alleys that may land in dead ends—that’s the nature of the process.” Anne counters with, “There may be something in the very last line of the very last paragraph on page six that you just love, that is so beautiful or wild that you now know what you’re supposed to be writing about, more or less, or in what direction you might go—but there was no way to get to this without first getting through the first five and a half pages.” I turn to Don, who I know teaches writing to ask my next question, “I went through school taught that the end product is all that mattered, from the little bit of reading I’ve done on you, I noticed you teach writing in an unconventional manner. How would you describe your belief in one sentence. ” Don sits pensively for 30 seconds before answering, ““Instead of teaching finished writing, we should teach unfinished writing, and glory in its unfinishedness.” “Would you elaborate on this process?” I ask. Don had this answer ready to go, “What is the process we should teach? It is the process of discovery through language. It is the process of exploration of what we should know and what we feel about what we know through language. It is the process of using language to learn about our world, to evaluate what we learn about our world, to communicate what we learn about our world.” I check my watch and note that my assignment is due in just a few short hours! I thank them profusely and give them my website URL and email address. Just last night I received a selfie from the 3 of them in our little pub! A Fable for the Living is a story about a widow that finds a way to deal with her grief through writing letters to her dead husband. This letter to my author-self will be used similarly in that I will use this to help myself connect to a part of me that has long been dormant.
Dear Petunia, I know it has been a while since we have interacted, besides the overwhelming moments here and there over the past decade, but I look forward to getting to know you again. I have been scared in the past to get to know you well, because what if I can’t live up to the expectations you have set for me? It is more comfortable to ignore you and pretend you aren’t there then it is to acknowledge you and let you free. Please go easy on me. It has been since Kathleen’s death almost a year ago since I wrote anything. Writing now is taking me back to that day – the day that my grandmother’s last childhood friend passed away – my last connection that knew her all throughout her life. For a long time, it felt like if I kept you at bay I would be comfortable, but the more I work and write the more I remember one of my favorite quotes “a ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” I am hesitant to step on this ship, but I know that if I am open to the process, I can sail free! One day, I hope we can live harmoniously together, but for now I think the passage is going to be tumultuous. I know the past couple of years have been rough but learning to let it out and write about it will be helpful, I promise. I want to start reading through my old journals to reconnect with you. As well as reading through old journals, I want to start journaling more again. The more writing that I have been doing, the more connected I feel to you already. Finally, I will believe in myself and ask for help when I need it. Sincerely yours, Lisa Claire For this class our professor asked us to create a digital portfolio. In order to create this post we were asked to read:
C is for contrast R is for repetition A is for alignment P is for proximity
Welcome to my first ever blog post! For my English Composition I class we are creating a digital portfolio. The following is The Proust Questionnaire, some of the questions required much thought, while others were easy enough to answer. While this is what I have know, I reserve the right to go back and change any or all answers as I change and grow throughout this course and my life. The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire. __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness? Grasping the idea of perfect happiness is not within my grasp with the state of the world today. __2.__What is your greatest fear? __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? First, I wouldn't say deplore, but the thing I most want to work on is not taking my frustration out on other people, especially my husband, when I'm cranky. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? Judging other people based on the color of their skin, sexual orientation, race, religion or lack thereof, etc. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? My mother - she is the kindest, bravest person I know. She can make friends with a stranger on the street. In the face of her diagnosis at 56 with FTD, a form of dementia, she is still living and loving life and enjoying everyday that she has with her family and friends. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? Going out to brunch with my brother every other weekend! __7.__What is your current state of mind? __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? __9.__On what occasion do you lie? __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? __11.__Which living person do you most despise? I am not at liberty to post that information at the moment, as if this person sees, it could cause a lot of problems for someone I love. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? Honesty __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Honesty __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Curse words! __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? __16.__When and where were you happiest? On the water with people that I love. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? Compassion in the face of frustration. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? Moving 1000 miles from home and finding myself. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A dolphin or a horse. __21.__Where would you most like to live? On the water with those I love most - my mother, brother, ciocia, husband, and mother-in-law. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? A ring that has been in my family 4 generations. It belonged to my paternal grandmother, then my grandfather gave it to my grandmother as an engagement ring, then it was passed to my mom, and recently my mom gave it to me. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? __24.__What is your favorite occupation? My favorite occupation so far in my life has been when I was a housekeeper at a small B&B in Ithaca, New York. I could listen to music or audio books and just clean! __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? __26.__What do you most value in your friends? Communication and honesty. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? My parents - for different reasons. My mother because she is brave and compassionate. She is still her kind, caring self even in the face of an early-onset dementia diagnosis. My father because he has grown so much as a person since I was born. We had our difficulties when I was younger, but being an adult now, I see how much he has progressed in the past 10 years and am extremely proud of him. __31.__What are your favorite names? Marcella, Claire, Otto, Charles __32.__What is it that you most dislike? __33.__What is your greatest regret? I try to live my life without regrets. Every decision I have ever made has led me to this point in my life and I LOVE where I am in my life right now. __34.__How would you like to die? __35.__What is your motto? That depends on the day... |
LISA CLAIRE WILEY
Archives
March 2020
Categories |